Shaken

by eloisehendy

The bile rises

A knotted tangle of boiling weight that clasps

My throat and makes me want

To retch

To vomit up this leaden miscarriage

Of emotion I can sense working it’s talons

Its dirty broken fingernails

Into the very essence of me.

It punctures holes and cackles as it watches

The rips burst me apart by fractions.

I only have myself to blame. 

I gave this monster, this unsparing caring, 

This tightening clamp,

I gave it permission to enter

I opened the door and threw away the key

And now the only remaining bars are rattling

I am shaken.

Cold water on a sleeping face

A pinch on the surface of things

You pinched and pincered me.

I am caught and now choking.

The knot tightens, grows heavier, takes root

Its wings melt away.

Not the nectar feathers, heaven feathers,

That played my heart like harp strings

But blistering wax. 

Concealing scaled claws

That long have longed to flex and scrape. 

I am scraped.

I can feel the scar forming 

On the unseen surface

The enclosed animal that is now whimpering at the corner of it’s unlocked cage.

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