The bile rises
A knotted tangle of boiling weight that clasps
My throat and makes me want
To vomit up this leaden miscarriage
Of emotion I can sense working it’s talons
Its dirty broken fingernails
Into the very essence of me.
It punctures holes and cackles as it watches
The rips burst me apart by fractions.
I only have myself to blame.
I gave this monster, this unsparing caring,
This tightening clamp,
I gave it permission to enter
I opened the door and threw away the key
And now the only remaining bars are rattling
I am shaken.
Cold water on a sleeping face
A pinch on the surface of things
You pinched and pincered me.
I am caught and now choking.
The knot tightens, grows heavier, takes root
Its wings melt away.
Not the nectar feathers, heaven feathers,
That played my heart like harp strings
But blistering wax.
Concealing scaled claws
That long have longed to flex and scrape.
I am scraped.
I can feel the scar forming
On the unseen surface
The enclosed animal that is now whimpering at the corner of it’s unlocked cage.