whats on ur mind

by eloisehendy

the computer screen is welcoming me
like a friend
its thanking me
for being there
(here?
where is it exactly
that i am?)
enforced nostalgia is rammed
into the back of my eyes
at regular intervals
(had i forgotten
would i have
forgotten
the brain
is only
finite
substance
i suppose)
little faces grin
or scowl
depending on the dominant
mood
(its easier
this way
isnt it)
i feel a small massage
to the ego
a boost
for the fragile
child
seeking
a nod and smile
seeking
congratulations
seeking
the assurance
that the world
does indeed spin
on the tip
of their finger
(my finger
that is
my finger
bigger now
but less bold)

when someone welcomes me
into their home
it does not feel
sincere

i do not
meet
their eyes

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