sober is the new drunk

soaked in caffeine and
smelling of this week’s smoke and
last night’s wine
i resolve
to go on a master cleanse

i start following three vegan and
three fitspo
Instagram accounts

i also spend some time
through photos of blonde women
on beaches
doing yoga
or with salad
or on dedicated juice retreats

they all have very good skin and
their teeth
look very expensive

i suspect
that they wear ‘outfits’
instead of clothes

i suspect
that the jokes the salad leaves
are telling
i would not understand

i wonder who takes these photos

i wonder
what these glossy maned
glossy teethed
women have to ‘retreat’ from

i wonder
if they have ever got so drunk
another woman
had to hold back their hair
while another held the door
while their insides
were cleansed
in a toilet cubicle
of a club

i look up a grapefruit diet online and
book three gym classes and
buy some new conditioner

‘for damaged hair’

i find a picture of melon slices
covered with exotic fruits
that is called ‘pizza’

i get an email inviting me on a juice crawl
‘the friendship crawl’
it costs fifty dollars
i will get a free mason jar

there is a juice shot
that is called ‘mr feelgood’
and another
that is called ‘viagra’

i think
i would like to ‘retreat’
from ‘mr feelgood’
i wonder
if i am missing


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s