Streams And Mirrors

Category: Writing

small wonders never cease

be hesitantly expansive to me, babe
you get unique when you get all up inside
& stop so rigidly hiding

i will teach you how to read affection
in a cup of water, love
in a discarding of obligation
i will tenderly get destroyed by you

& then come back for more
i’ve wanted the way your eyelashes twitch
ever since i got here, maybe

it isn’t a small miracle to make it
through the night, so speak
without a shred of dignity but humility
clouding your meaning, so to speak

i’ve always been drawn to rounded edges
& you have the softest skin i’ve ever seen
& it’s always better in the dark

i will encourage you to sacrifice
& linger in the exquisite, please
do that thing where you revoke
& remain incredulous close

expectation is the enemy of wonder
your wrists are the definition
of delicate, strength in frailty

allow yourself to feel complete
without an audience, but with awe
in the face of the intangible
you show readiness for giving, love

this beats suffering and forgiveness
for the sin of exposure, trust me
i will lick clean your submission

& defend your need
i’ve chosen your attachment, babe
ever since arriving


i pop your feelings until they’re human
normal or nearly there leaking
at least from your sleeves
here’s a space to come to terms
with certainty and contingency
i want you to transcend me
thoughtfully and from the guts
and without contradiction

enchant me with a nervous proposition
i love it when you maximise
my small femininity here’s a space to spill
out your ego and my errors
it’s time to talk or attempt to
i think you would look so beautiful
with a little air let out

i praise you when you stand to face me
when you’re sagging and opening
out the grace of your eyes
let me into your hunger
you have the face for listening
to open wounds and listening
harder i think you are beautiful
and so clear a child yet
to be named and born into joy
lend me a feeling of eternity
and come in from the cold


i am data crunching streaming
content across my eyelids
what a time to be online
and existent in so many places
history is a blink of an eye
the world is a big old sweetshop of hip hip
horrors a third lamb lung a third beef heart
& what big eyes i eat anchovies with my fingers
& drink beer from the bottle
& caress my phone screen with my fingers
& think about fingering myself like a plug socket
but there is no spark
meanwhile the news bursts into flames
then falls silent
we are whirring and not ourselves or are we
more than we’d care to remember
i am storing scorched earth for rainy days
i am scorching streaming rain
crunching rainy data
eying storage dating numbers rolling footage
its on the tip of my tongue
& i turn myself on & off again
the wide wide sea gapes at us pulls us in
to her more vivid oceans & pulls us
flashing amber and coloured wonder
what reams of information bare themselves
flashing nipples of hyperreal
& winking code i dare myself to stop
& start & just look away
but on the other hand this is the crux
the most crucial the most livid if not
the most loving a generation bred on blue
toned screens hum a gesture in the dark
meanwhile the news crashes into pedestrians
and then falls

i see you

today i want to take you tenderly
in my thoughts roll you over
every which way patting you down
for such an abundance of secrecy
shame stuffed pockets let’s rinse
you out to fluff

let’s douse ourselves in thinning waters
hold out your arm for pressing my pulse to it
let’s not speak of it
words are fragile, so, anyway
let’s hold tight and let it all come
out in the wash

life is dirty and fragile, so,
let’s tear it at the seams
life is dirty we are dirty you are
a mud cake
i pat you down with child’s hands
today i want to take you in my fist
and throw you so clean
away you’d come back squeaking

today i want to love you so fragile
so fierce let’s wring you out
to innocence


this spring there is little left
i have lost my crown
the soft animal of my body

this summer i seem small
splayed unspeakable
a misplaced child
quite nauseous, needy
for damage & healing

at night i feel full of needles
half full with ice water and very far
out to sea or under it

i imagine being held
behind glass fixed
in a shallow pool of smiles
hoping to be very valuable
one day see
how i glide
on the surface of things

i imagine being cracked
like a promise
along the hairline
and watching nothing hatch

sadness is an infection

to peel is to unpeel
to skin to deskin to become

to hatch means to allow
the small animal out
or is it a virus
or is it a concealed opening
means to escape

i run myself ragged and wait
to get caught on the edge
and unspool
like razor wire


i’m in the long grass for you
i’m dew for you i’m a melon
for you i am honeysuckle
i’m lying in dappled light for you
i’m rising
at dawn for you i am blue skies
i’m at the waterside for you
i’m dipping my toes in the water
for you i am sherbet
a strawberry lace i am cream
in a bowl whipped up and chilled
for you i am butter spread thick
i am the movement of leaves in the trees


at four am i glow neon
hot pink cat on a hot steel capped
bed swathed in synthetics &
panting my hot pink tongue
against the tinny roof of my mouth
ha! my body is livid

i am screaming adverts
at nothing i am scrawling love
into the arms of the sky
come buy come buy come
i woke up wanting
to kiss

ha! i am a motel in the back end
of beyond seedy &
blowing time away in clumps
at four am i glow like a lolly
i pop like a lolly like corn like chewing
gum i am burst
a bubble on a syrup chin
a fairground ride spinning
with sticky fingers i am a prize

ha! i am soap suds &
you tell me
i smell like church


wash me with dappled light
bread and wine and dine me
abstract me from the muck
feather my shoulder blades
pull roses from my lips
lap milk from my lap
suckle honey from my teats
crown my curls with thorns
kneel before my hymen
paint my naked back
brush me with tar
burn my heretic frame
plunge me in ice water
crack your eggs in my basket
hammer and sickle me
ring my egg timer body
spill yolk from my belly

knock me down and call me
by my name


luv is hard
           in the eye a clouding
           of the lens leading
to a decrease
   a dip in a misty pool
            usual onset: gradual
luv is trouble
   sleeping at night
   with bright lights
   halos surrounding lights
luv is complications:
   falling, depression,
luv is trauma
luv is ageing
luv is radiation exposure
 a risk factor prolonged
       exposure to sunlight alcohol
luv is trouble
    driving, reading, or recognising
             faces clumps of protein
 remove the clouds and replace
                 with artifice 
the only effective treatment
luv is causing problems
luv is not
    readily available
luv is especially true
for women
         those living in rural areas
and those who do not know how
  to read
luv is usually complaining
  of glare
luv is degrading
   and denaturing over time
acceleration: the environment
              toxins, radiation, ultraviolet lights
luv is trauma 
    swelling, thickening, a whitening
  of the fibres
    swelling then whitening
        light from reaching
luv is an electrical injury
luv is blunt
a change in heat, the mechanism
    is unclear
direct damage from pressure
luv is the aqueous humour
luv is slippery
    electric and heat
    denature and whiten
luv is cooking an egg
    making the clear albumen
    become white and opaque
luv is a glassblower
  a furnace
luv is a laser
       known to damage the eyes
and skin
    skinning, deskinning, a peeling
  a ripening of the lens
luv is a trend
in some developed countries
which may lead to disappointing results
               the eye is numbed
       ultrasonic energy
luv is emulsifying
  paralysis of the eye muscles
       to break up
and emulsify to liquid 
   from ultrasound waves
       the soft outer layer sucked
away or aspirated
        removed and replaced
luv is fluid
        injected salt water into
    swell and seal
luv can be useful 
when dealing with very hard
             or other situations
luv is problematic
luv is self-sealing
       a tunnel wound 
ideally water 
luv is suturing and small
    is increasingly popular
       rarely performed a high rate
  of complications
luv is a capsule
         pressure applied to the membrane
usually short
             move cautiously avoid straining
        or heavy lifting
    serious complications: detachment
a sudden decrease often
         describing pain blurring
         vision flames
    of light or floating
         spots excessive inflammation
persistent swelling
at the front of the eye or the back
    of the eye blurred
    or foggy
luv usually improves with
            time and with
luv is a drop
a condition, deteriorating
         vision or problems with
            glare and light
luv is a thickening
of the back a growth
luv is natural
    and younger and greater 
             beams of energy falling
    to the bottom of 
       the inside of
       the eye
luv is leaving
    to hold in place removing
    to allow light
    to pass directly
    to strike, dash
luv is rapidly running water
               turning white
luv is a waterfall
       a portcullis an obstruction
descent of the water
       an outpouring
luv is unknown
and it is unknown
    if this procedure would work
in adults

“bloodstains, pasties & Michael Barrymore”

where do i start, well positives
next to the number one bingo hall
and thats where the fun ends
and I am afraid

you seem to walk miles the bread
and milk are on the opposite side the meals
were okay but saying that i did have a touch
of food poison for 3 days some of the fresh
sandwiches I’ve bought have been out of date
one I didnt notice until after
I’d eaten it

blood stained headboards
towels like sandpaper cock
roaches and a list of charges
rowdy folks arguing slamming
doors and kicking
doors and shouting
fowl language echoing in the corridors

a cupboard with no back a double bed the size of a hammock made of

rude staff windows that wont close no
hot water broken furniture dirty
utensils and actual poo in the kettle

lucky enough it missed our heads
but covered our table landed
floating in our drinks and splattered
(not a good start)
and they got soaked
(i feel really sorry for the cleaners)
we wrote our names in the dust
on the balcony rail when we arrived
and it was still there
2 weeks later did the same on the fridge
i found a cats paw in my pillowcase
i had a terrible experience
with a jacket potato

which made me quite put off
to be honest buying anything else
to be honest
i hate this place is a complete hole
i’d have to say i hate
this place
anyway we went out

and to give it its dues it is close to everything
and we made sure we got so hammered so we would be able to sleep